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My Love, My Grief, El Coquí, y La Mariposa

Year: 2024

Medium: Wooden and blue marble beads, silver wire, and premium photo luster paper​​

 

Artist Statement:

Cyanotype is a type of alternative photographic process that creates a cyan-blue image without a camera. When creating prints using this process, I would find myself looking at these images and getting a sense of remembrance. Old memories being memorialized in a vibrant blue. I took that feeling and decided to create pieces relating to memory, love, life, and death. When a loved one has passed away in my family, rather than wear all black we allow ourselves to wear different vibrant colors. We would hold a service then gather together to eat traditional Puerto Rican food along with the foods that the loved one enjoyed when they were alive. We play music and talk about the memories that we have of that loved one. I initially started creating my proposal and pieces with a joyful attitude because I was able to sit down and look through family photos and remember certain events and people. I started off with a simple and delicate necklace and bracelet design, incorporating the butterfly and the coqui frog in different areas of the pieces. The story of the butterfly that has comforted my mother and has comforted me as well is that when a butterfly is gravitating towards you, it is a loved one trying to get in contact with you. For me butterflies can mean death and life. The coqui frog is something that reminds me of home and I wanted to include something that ties me back home to Puerto Rico. 

I knew I wanted to create more pieces of jewelry than just a bracelet and a necklace, so I began brainstorming ideas for a main piece. While in the process of trying to figure out that design for my project, however, I unfortunately experienced a sudden loss. My uncle was someone who I was very close to, and he was one of my inspirations to create jewelry for this specific project. My father and him enjoyed wearing rings, earrings, beaded necklaces and bracelets and I grew to love them as well because of them.

Although my family did not find solace in a church, we do find comfort in religion and believing in God. It had been a long time since I sought out comfort from my religion because I tend to forget that I can turn to it if I need to. For the main piece of my project, I decided to create a rosary that reminds me of memories in my life and family. The beads that are strung on the rosary represent different prayers and are used to keep track of those prayers. The rosary has five decades, and most rosaries have five mysteries to pray to. The mysteries are the Joyful Mysteries, the Sorrowful Mysteries, the Glorious Mysteries, and the Luminous Mysteries. Each decade is a reminder as well as a story in a way. I wanted to remind myself of my own stories through beading my own rosary. 

Rather than just using the white and cyan blue colors of Cyanotype as inspiration for memory, I instead used it to symbolize my love and grief for loved ones and times that I miss such as my childhood. At the end of the rosary, instead of placing a traditional large cross I decided to replace it with a book with family photos inside and a smaller cross. The first of prayer when it comes to a traditional rosary is praying the Apostle’s Creed which is relating to the core values of God and his teachings. Due to the sudden loss, there were many emotions that I felt while creating this piece. Before my uncle had passed, I turned to the comfort of religion and began to pray for his health. After his death I felt a mix of anger, grief, confusion, and regret. I began to blame outside sources when in reality there is no one and nothing to blame. It is something that is a part of life. I placed a smaller cross to represent how little my faith shrank after his death, something that I feel ashamed of in a way. However, it is still there. When I hold this rosary, I am greeted with memories and while I reminisce on these memories, I still send a silent prayer for my loved ones. 

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